Maggie McGovern

47,453 notes

the11thdoctor:

wellthatsjustgreat:

At the grocery store. Orange juice was available as:

  • No Pulp
  • With Pulp
  • MORE Pulp
  • LOADED With Pulp

They did not have the other levels which are, in order of increasing pulpitude:

  • Loaded With Even More Pulp
  • Extra Loaded With Lots Of Pulp
  • Holy Shit, That’s A Lot Of Pulp
  • Seriously. There’s A Lot Of Pulp In This Motherfucker.
  • Stop Fucking With Me. Who Would Want This Much Pulp?
  • I’m Not Fucking With You. There’s So Much God Damned Pulp In This Sumbitch That You Should Forget A Straw Because You’ll Need A Fucking Ladle.
  • Screw The Ladle. Get A Carving Knife.
  • No Longer Juice. Slightly Damp Pulp.
  • An Orange

They don’t have those cos those are just Pulp Fiction

I don’t know why I find this so hilarious, but I DO!

(via timdarling-old)

449 notes

fyeahenglishmajorarmadillo:

[Picture: Background — a six piece pie style colour split, alternating black and grey. Foreground — a picture of an armadillo. Top text: “’Everything was beautiful. Nothing hurt.’” Bottom text: “-Kurt Vonnegut, not hipsters!”]
I wish that people knew where quotes came from before they used them… just a little pet peeve.

fyeahenglishmajorarmadillo:

[Picture: Background — a six piece pie style colour split, alternating black and grey. Foreground — a picture of an armadillo. Top text: “’Everything was beautiful. Nothing hurt.’” Bottom text: “-Kurt Vonnegut, not hipsters!”]

I wish that people knew where quotes came from before they used them… just a little pet peeve.

Filed under english major armadillo submission